Addicts We All Are

“Every addiction, no matter what it is, is the result of trying to escape from something by going in the direction of a need that is currently not being met. In order to move past our addiction,  we have to figure out what we are trying to use our addiction to get away from and what we are trying to use our addiction to meet.”
Teal Swan

Addicts always have something to turn to when things get bad. It’s either drugs, sex, gambling, violence, and many more. We are taught that people with addictions need help, they need to learn to not lean on bad behaviors to make them feel good. My bad, not everything they turn to is bad, it could be something good as in helping someone, shopping, sleeping or eating. They are just called bad things because they are being used in a bad way, to fill something that is empty, to take up a place they don’t belong in. Funny thing is we are all addicts in our own way, we all have that thing we go to, to make us feel good when we are sad or mad. It could be over eating for some, but for me it is talking a lot of nonsense.

I’m a social person, I like to be around people, talk to them, make jokes, anything that is considered socializing I enjoy it. I talk a lot, I do not hesitate to walk up to a person and say “Hey! How you doing today?” It comes natural to me unless the person looks intimidating, then I will look at them and walk away. I’m a talker, but I know when to talk and not to talk, who to talk to and not to talk to, what to say and what not to say. Most of my friends will probably disagree with this because I talk a lot and sometimes I say weird things, but those are just to fill the silence that I find awkward at times. Despite all the previous things mentioned, I have moments when I just go on forever. I can talk about the weirdest of things with someone who’s not responsive to me or is talking back but out of respect. I’d say the people who see this side of me are people who means the most to me, so if I have unfortunately tried to continue a conversation with you and spoken about the weirdest things ever, well now you know it’s because you mean a lot to me.

That still does not answer why I do it and what in the world it has to do with addicts. The reason I try to continue a conversation that is already dead is because something might have happened before I spoke to you and I felt sad, so me talking a lot is distracting me and in a way saying “There is something bothering me but I just don’t know how to say it or I won’t say it cause you don’t care.” Oh! By the way, this is only through texting or any sort of social media.For me, one of my many addictions is to go talk nonsense with someone, which is a really bad thing to do because I normally do this with my guy friends and after an hour of nonsense they’ll say im weird or they’ll be guys and just say something that makes everything worse. Everything else from there just declines, I will quickly leave the conversation with my famous line “I’m going to go now because I’m talking a lot.” and go watch a show that will equally express how I feel then I go to bed and try to forget everything that happened.

Some of you reading this will be like “I get what she means, I have my own thing that I do.” while others are just finding me weird, but its okay. What I find interesting is no matter what you’re addiction is it will never be good enough to make you feel better because there’s a down fall to everything. If you decide to eat a whole lot of junk food then you will feel sick later on or just feel really guilty, if you listen to music well you’re just distracting yourself and the feeling will come back. No matter what you do, that feeling you’re trying not to feel will come back and you will have to deal with it. I’m not going to fake it right now, I do not know how you deal with it except by dealing with it, but I’m not a pro on knowing how to deal with emotions. I just know avoiding it is really bad and pointless because I’ve done and still do it so many times and my friends are like “Helene, stop doing that and just let it be!” I just find it very important  that people know that, it’s okay to feel a certain way and you don’t have cover it up with something thatwokring’s not beneficial. Work on yourself and learn to face your emotions things It’s really not an easy thing to stop doing that addictive thing but it’s worth trying

So for me, to make it more easier to not message my friends and talk nonsense with them, more like to them, I am getting off Facebook for 3 months. Yeah, no I’m not deactivating it because that thing does not make sense to me, I can just come back on. So what I did was I told my best friend to change my password and to not give it to me no matter what till the end of 3 months which is when school reopens. I find it really interesting because Im not wasting time on Facebook and I could work on me while working out and getting myself back in shape! If you have something you do to help you avoid you’re own problems I say find a way to slowly stop it. Telling a friend may help, you have someone to keep you on track and if you don’t want to explain yourself to them then just give them a brief and broad explanation 🙂


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